"...Kriyat Yam Suf"

Welcome to Split The Sea, where I attempt to provide my dear readers with relevant advice on how to find success in dating, relationships and marriage. I hope you enjoy and benefit from this blog as much as possible.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What You See Is What You Get. What Do You See?

What I mean by that title is that what you see in your mind, what you imagine constantly, is what you will eventually get in your life. It's not instantaneous, of course. But whatever you concentrate on, while feeling a lot of emotion about it, will end up in your lap. Not only that, if you imagine having the thing you want AND you imagine the gratitude and joy you will feel upon receiving it: meaning, you crank up the gratitude-ness inside you until you feel as if you already have gotten what you want: then you will get it.

Which leads me to a question. If I am always thinking about something, does it mean that I want it? And if I want that, does it mean that it's good for me? Notice what you want, why you want it, and is it what you really want? Or just what might feel good.

Ah the elusive "what feels good." Clearly what feels good is not always good for a person. Eating chocolate cake for every meal and snack might feel and taste good, but it's not very healthy or nutritious. If you wanted to eat food that was healthy and nutritious, you'd go to an expert on food - a nutritionist, say, and ask him or her to prepare for you a food plan, and advise you on what's best for you. You wouldn't say, well, I know what I like, so that's what I'll eat! Licorice, candy corn, M&M's, and some Mountain Dew to top it all off! At the very least, you'd Google some pages on "health," "diet," and "nutrition."

When finding the right person to marry, there's the candy aspect. You say you want someone attractive, wealthy, funny. Someone who shares the same interest in music as you. How do you know what choices in your dating diet are junk food or healthy? Every doctor will tell you that your food intake in your twenties and thirties directly impacts your health in your seventies. You should know that the same principle applies to dating and relationships. Relationships which take place now are not isolated from the rest of your life.

Figuring out what you want versus what you need, and creating a balance in terms of your goals for a spouse is all very important. A wacky granola-pusher might give you a list of very healthy food but you would never touch it, not in a million years. Tofu? Wheat germ? Agave juice? You've got to be kidding me! You want a nutritionist who knows not just what's healthy, but knows you, and understands your limits, and where you can push your limits. Garden salad with lemon vinaigrette, herbed lean chicken, and wild rice. You know, I think that sounds really healthy for me, and it'll taste good too. And I get (one medium sized piece of) chocolate cake for dessert? All right!

The people you choose to date, the list of qualifications your prospective spouse should have - all these will affect your happiness and emotional health now and later on in life. Find a trusted source to help figure out what kind of person you need, what is best for you, and of course, what kind of person will help you be happy and satisfied in your long, happy, healthy, life together.

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