"...Kriyat Yam Suf"

Welcome to Split The Sea, where I attempt to provide my dear readers with relevant advice on how to find success in dating, relationships and marriage. I hope you enjoy and benefit from this blog as much as possible.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Dream On! How To Make the Jump

Do your version of ‘jumping in to the sea.’ Before you can translate your dreams into reality, you need to create your dreams.

[Disclaimer: The Torah is in many ways the original inspirational and self help book, not to mention Guide for Your Time On This World and Rulebook for Having a Good Life Now And Forever. Rhonda Byrne’s awesome book The Secret actually recommends much of what I’m about to recommend, but I’d like to state for the record that Hashem’s Torah actually advises it first.]

Just like Nachshon ben Aminadav stepped into the water until it almost covered his nose, and then the sea split – you gotta jump in the water. Yes I know, you’ve dated, you’ve tried, it’s impossible, the shadchanim are wrong, the girls are not your type, the boys are looking for something that’s just not you. Or maybe you are completely convinced that dating is not for you, and you would not go within ten feet of anyone referred to as a shadchan.

That's fine. I’m not about to tell you to go on another date. I’m not about to tell you to call up another shadchan.

Are you ready for what I’m about to tell you? Take it seriously, because I am not joking.

If you are a girl, go on to http://www.bluenile.com. Pick out the exact diamond ring you want when you get engaged. Or two or three choices that are almost perfect. Use Google, go to http://www.sescreations.com (another diamond ring company). Pick out your wedding ring too, while you're at it.

Go on http://www.onlysimchas.com. Look at all the wedding pictures of all the strangers in the Jewish world. Find the bridal gowns that you like the best, and save three or four choices. Same with tiara, headpiece and veil. Think about the different wedding halls you’ve been to. Imagine the Chuppah, the dancing, the huge Challah. Imagine dancing with your dearest friends and family members in a ten to twenty lb dress (it’s hard, but it’s worth it!), in huge platform sneakers, or strappy white sandals, or whatever your choice is.

If you are a guy, go the websites, and pick out the ring you will buy your Kallah. Imagine placing the veil upon the face of your beautiful Kallah grinning up at you with her sparkling eyes. See the Tisch laid out with cake and soda? The Kesubah is being written up by the Rabbi while you, your father, and your future father-in-law look on and answer his questions. You put on the kittel, or you hold the tallis above you and your Kallah’s head. Imagine moving your stuff into your new apartment with your Kallah. She looks at you with so much admiration, and you are so proud.

Whatever you want to use at a setup, imagine it. Watch the movie with you as the main character. View it from your own perspective as well as the camera’s. Instead of dwelling on the procedure of dating, dwell on the end result of getting married, of being married. Use the imagery that exactly pertains to a person getting married, and make it your own unique and wonderful experience.

The line from Pirkei Avos - "Hakol Holech Achar HaRosh" - everything goes according to the head, or the beginning. More specifically, your life goes according to how your head thinks. Whatever your brain is capable of thinking, feeling, and imagining, is what you are actually capable of experiencing and doing. Believe it.

This is only just the beginning of your success.


Critiquer said...

That statement is not in Pirkei Avos.

Rivka Charloff said...

I stand corrected.