Who Are You?

Previously I wrote about delving into your inner self to find your faults and fix them in order to be able to recognize your shidduch when you see him or her. Well I discovered it's not just about finding faults.

Split your own sea means discover who you are - the good points too! Develop yourself as a person. One of the reasons why Ultra Orthodox Jews send their children to single-gender schools is because they realize this very important concept. Every person need an incubation period to develop their own personality, to discover what his or her own true likes and dislikes are. When you are constantly around members of the opposite gender (who are not your own siblings) you will constantly be changing your opinion according to that of the guy or girl you like. It's true, you get biased.

Take the time to find yourself. It is not a vague expression, but rather it means spending time with only members of your own gender. Try out new activities, see if you can find a hobby that's right for you. Read and see what topics really interest you. What are you all about?

How does all this have to do with your future spouse? I'll tell you. I talk to singles a lot, and I get questions like "What should I talk about on a date?" I used to scrounge up lists of ideas to talk about for them. But then I realized. If they don't know what to say, if they are not already into their own self, if they are not busy being who they are, of course they have nothing to talk about. And therefore they are not ready to be dating!

Whoa, I said it. NOT READY.

Stay tuned for the resolution of this crazy concept.