"...Kriyat Yam Suf"

Welcome to Split The Sea, where I attempt to provide my dear readers with relevant advice on how to find success in dating, relationships and marriage. I hope you enjoy and benefit from this blog as much as possible.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Do You Know The Secret?

After reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, my entire understanding of dating and marriage has changed, and I now realized what makes everything work.

Our society spends so much time, money and energy toward making shidduchim. There are articles, speeches, meetings, magazines, websites all talking about "dating" and "making shidduchim" and of course the dreaded "shidduch crisis." But the big realization is as follows: In accordance with the ideas presented in The Secret, if people focus all their energy on something, that thing will get fueled up in a matter of speaking, and continue to grow and exist. Applying this idea to dating and marriage: if you want to get married, or you want to make shidduchim, concentrate on marriage. Write articles about getting married, make websites about amazing couples. Give speeches on having excellent relationships and improved communication skills.

One afternoon at the hotel I was staying at for Pesach, I heard two young ladies in their early twenties commenting about a lecture being presented. To paraphrase, one said to the other, 'It's just another Rabbi saying how terrible the shidduch crisis is. Why do I need to hear about that again?' And I agree with her. We do not need to hear about problems or needs. If you concentrate on the need for something, you will remain with having that need instead of having it fulfilled.

Concentrate on marriage! Focus your energy on the idea of being married. On my wedding day, everyone said to me, oh you must be so excited, this is the best day of your life. And I was thinking, um no, this is the most nervewracking day of my life. But once I'm married, then every day will be the best day!

Marriage is awesome, so think about it. A lot!

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