"...Kriyat Yam Suf"

Welcome to Split The Sea, where I attempt to provide my dear readers with relevant advice on how to find success in dating, relationships and marriage. I hope you enjoy and benefit from this blog as much as possible.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Split The Sea: A Requirement for Dating Effectively

Considering that finding "The One" is as difficult as splitting the sea, it's amazing anyone gets married. But we do. There is hope for everyone.

Why does the Talmud say that finding one's marriage partner is as difficult as splitting the sea? (Sotah, 2a)

An enlightening article on Chabad.org offers an in depth explanation. To summarize, the sea is deep and vibrant, but all an observer sees is the surface. In order to find your intended, split your internal sea until you can see the dry land beneath.

To be able to recognize your other half, you must first delve into your own mind and personality. Dig deep into your unconscious and discover what your unique needs and desires are. Only then will you able to find and connect with the right person.

Considering how difficult it is really get know yourself, discovering yourself and then finding your spouse certainly is as difficult as splitting the sea. Now you understand the metaphor.

Are you asking, "Wait . . . difficult? It's not difficult to get to know myself! What's the big deal? I know myself!"

Do you really? Most people don't want to hear anything about themselves. Have you ever tried to point out someone's faults? They almost always launch into denial or rationalization. Try it on your roommate or your sibling. (Just don't blame me when you get into a fight over it!)

Seriously, though. Getting to know yourself means getting down and dirty in the mess of your inner world. Your personality got that way because of many different influences--not all of them positive ones.

What are the sources of your issues? How have your past relationships and experiences influenced how you think and behave? What pushes your buttons? And why?

These are some questions to get you started on the process of splitting your sea and discovering what is underneath the surface of your personality.

Now you are beginning the miraculous process of finding your match made in heaven.

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