Dream On! How To Make the Jump

Do your version of ‘jumping in to the sea.’ Before you can translate your dreams into reality, you need to create your dreams.

[Disclaimer: The Torah is in many ways the original inspirational and self help book, not to mention Guide for Your Time On This World and Rulebook for Having a Good Life Now And Forever. Rhonda Byrne’s awesome book The Secret actually recommends much of what I’m about to recommend, but I’d like to state for the record that Hashem’s Torah actually advises it first.]

Just like Nachshon ben Aminadav stepped into the water until it almost covered his nose, and then the sea split – you gotta jump in the water. Yes I know, you’ve dated, you’ve tried, it’s impossible, the shadchanim are wrong, the girls are not your type, the boys are looking for something that’s just not you. Or maybe you are completely convinced that dating is not for you, and you would not go within ten feet of anyone referred to as a shadchan.

That's fine. I’m not about to tell you to go on another date. I’m not about to tell you to call up another shadchan.

Are you ready for what I’m about to tell you? Take it seriously, because I am not joking.

If you are a girl, go on to http://www.bluenile.com. Pick out the exact diamond ring you want when you get engaged. Or two or three choices that are almost perfect. Use Google, go to http://www.sescreations.com (another diamond ring company). Pick out your wedding ring too, while you're at it.

Go on http://www.onlysimchas.com. Look at all the wedding pictures of all the strangers in the Jewish world. Find the bridal gowns that you like the best, and save three or four choices. Same with tiara, headpiece and veil. Think about the different wedding halls you’ve been to. Imagine the Chuppah, the dancing, the huge Challah. Imagine dancing with your dearest friends and family members in a ten to twenty lb dress (it’s hard, but it’s worth it!), in huge platform sneakers, or strappy white sandals, or whatever your choice is.

If you are a guy, go the websites, and pick out the ring you will buy your Kallah. Imagine placing the veil upon the face of your beautiful Kallah grinning up at you with her sparkling eyes. See the Tisch laid out with cake and soda? The Kesubah is being written up by the Rabbi while you, your father, and your future father-in-law look on and answer his questions. You put on the kittel, or you hold the tallis above you and your Kallah’s head. Imagine moving your stuff into your new apartment with your Kallah. She looks at you with so much admiration, and you are so proud.

Whatever you want to use at a setup, imagine it. Watch the movie with you as the main character. View it from your own perspective as well as the camera’s. Instead of dwelling on the procedure of dating, dwell on the end result of getting married, of being married. Use the imagery that exactly pertains to a person getting married, and make it your own unique and wonderful experience.

The line from Pirkei Avos - "Hakol Holech Achar HaRosh" - everything goes according to the head, or the beginning. More specifically, your life goes according to how your head thinks. Whatever your brain is capable of thinking, feeling, and imagining, is what you are actually capable of experiencing and doing. Believe it.

This is only just the beginning of your success.

What Does the Splitting the Sea Have To Do With Getting Married?

B’nei Yisrael, the entirety of the Jewish people, are standing in front of the Red Sea. Right behind them are the soldiers of Pharaoh’s army gaining. B’nei Yisrael were at a point in reality where it seem IMPOSSIBLE for them to escape with their lives – the Egyptians behind them, the sea before them…it was either succumb to the Egyptians or flounder in the water. Reality at that moment was that they had no other choices except those two.

The test which the Jewish people face at that moment was to have the ability to create a new reality – to think ‘outside the box’ and actually make new choices to follow that wouldn’t seem plausible.

Nachshon ben Aminadav was that individual who created a new reality for B’nei Yisrael. Nachshon ben Aminadav entered the sea, he walked into the water, and let himself sink until the water was about to cover his nose and he wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore. That was the moment at which Hashem split the sea.

The whole test facing an unmarried person, (as well as many other people with obstacles to overcome) is – are they able to use their Emunah – their Belief – their power of imagination and desire, to actually believe their way into a new existence. And it only took the imagination of one individual make that new reality come true for three million people. When Nachshon Ben Aminadav walked into the water—fully believing it would split for him and allow the entire Jewish people to forge a path through the water—he gave the opening for G-d to enter and transform the reality of the Jewish people. And what they all needed was the Emunah for it to happen. The key word to remember is belief.

An unmarried person, or any person who desires to achieve a goal, faces obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. An individual might think that it is impossible to achieve the goal they desire because of extenuating circumstances. There are a million and one reasons why your goal seems impossible to achieve. No where to turn with obstacles all around. At that point some give up. Even the best of us give up. But then what must urge a person forward is taking action while believing and feeling with your heart that it will happen.